Cheerleader for 2nd SSP Bowling Tourney

Brought Iman to Ampang Bowling @ Berjaya Times Square last Saturday, 14 July 2007. SSP has organized the Inter Batch Bowling Tournament for the 2nd time since last year. Mummy is now a bowler but a great supporter of all Alumni's activities, so Mummy will definitely miss the event.

It was supposed to be Mummy's day off. Ayah said he will take care of Iman so that Mummy can enjoy myself with my friends. Suddenly, there was a change of plan. Ayah had to work - the company was asked to help to find the Army's Nuri helicopter that was missing since Fri. So, there goes the plan of time off for Mummy. No complaint though, coz it gave Mummy the time to have girls outing with Iman.

Last year when Iman went to the Bowling Tourney, you were younger and we didn't stay that long anyway. This time it was different. At first Iman was getting quite restless. Mummy had to read Peter and Jane for a while to get Iman in good mood. We started to play we the ballerina dolls. We went down to the car park to get the Frog that Iman refused to bring up at first, but then started to miss it and kept on asking for it.

Then Mummy decided that Iman should be thought how the bowling game was played. At least Iman can understand and help to be the cheerleader. True enough, after explaining and showing Iman how bowling was played, Iman finally understood and started to cheer whenever the pins was knocked down. In fact started to hi-five with the players from our team. It was fun to see Iman started to enjoy the game. Aunty Mista likes to "layan-layan" Iman. Iman also likes Aunty Mista! Alway hi-fiving with her!

Berkat Iman cheering for our group, our batch came out as the Bowling Champion this time!! Hurray!! While waiting for the present-giving ceremony, Iman fall asleep in her stroller! Good girl, Iman! Gave Mummy a break to enjoy the victory with Mummy's friends! Then we went for lunch. Iman slept thru Mummy's lunch and only got up to eat a few pieces of chicken and had a few spoonful of soup.

All in all Iman was a good girl last Saturday. We had a great girls only outing!


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The Crying Chair

We have introduced the term 'The Crying Chair' by Teacher Yasmin, Iman's headmistress in Young Ambassadors. Mummy has seen the 'Crying Mat' being used for similar method of bring up toddlers in the Super Nanny segment in the Oprah Show.

Since then we have started to introduce to Iman our own Crying Chair @ home. It is an aluminium chair that we put at the corner of the living room, meant as a spare chair when we have a big number of visitors. On normal days nobody really sit on that chair. It is now Iman's Crying Chair.

We told her that she'll have to sit on that chair if she cries or even if she starts to whine. If she wants or needs anything, she must tell us and not to cry or whine or whimp. She looked at us in horror the first time we told her of the new rule. We thot she should enforce this new rule so that she knows that this is the way to get anything she wants - by telling us rather than use crying as the weapon and means to get her ways.

Looks like the crying chair is working quite well as Iman didn't cry or whine much lately. But then again it has only been less than a week. We need to monitor her still. Hopefully she will talk more and cry or whine less.

Age of Expression of Self-Determination

Iman woke up this morning in Mummy and Ayah's bed. Iman was crying for Mummy at 3:30 a.m., wanting to sleep with Mummy. So Ayah got up and carried Iman from the cot. At first Iman didn't want to take bath but eventually agreed to be bathed by Mummy. Everything went ok. Mummy dressed Iman up and all ready for school. Iman watched tv while waiting for Mummy and Ayah get ready. Everything was fine. Then we went down to the car. Suddenly Iman's mood started to change. Iman wanted to have the car key that Ayah needs to start and drive the car. Even after Mummy tried to explain that Ayah needs the key, Iman was still quite moody. As we drove to the school, Iman was just quiet at the back seat.

When we arrived in school, Iman refused to get down from the car. Teacher Yasmin called Mummy to go talk to her, while Ayah had to come out too and carried Iman to the school compound. Today was the first time Iman acted this way! In front of Teacher Yasmin too! Mummy was quite embarassed with Teacher Yasmin.

According to Teacher Yasmin lately Iman likes to use crying as a weapon to get things her way in school. So Teacher Yasmin has introduced a crying chair where the kid who cries has to sit on the chair until he/she is ready to tell teacher what he/she wants.

Teacher Yasmin even taught Mummy how to handle Iman in this situation. She said, when getting ready to go for outing, just take out 2 pairs of clothes and tell Iman to choose between the two items. Similarly, when choose shoes or slippers, just gave 2 or 3 choices and let Iman choose. Mummy was told to just accept Iman's choice and not to correct it. Somehow Mummy knows that Mummy doesn't have to correct Iman's choice because Iman is very particular about colour matching, so the choice would definitely be correct!

A message from Mother to Daughter

I saw this message on the Internet from the following site: http://www.bottlemeamessage.com/mothertodaughter.htm
I thot it was beautiful, the universal feelings and message mothers would want to express to the daughters.

From a Mother to her Daughter

I’ve watched you blossom
from a delicate flower
into a young woman with
the power and determination
to accomplish anything she sets her mind to.

I remember just yesterday
when I held you in my arms
and you would twist
my hair through your fingers.

I remember how you
would come to me when
you were hurt or sad
and I’d wipe the tears away
and make everything all better with just a kiss.
Eventually a kiss didn’t take away the hurts that you endured,
but you overcame them effortlessly,
and you made me proud.

You will always be my baby,
but now you are also a grown woman
that I am proud to call my daughter.
I want you to know how proud
I am of your achievements.
You are everything I hoped
you would grow up to be,
and then some.
You are my daughter,
and I love you.

Iman's Pledge

Last nite, as I was sitting at the computer while entertaining Iman who was playing with her DVDs, she suddenly made a pledge that was really touching to me. Out of the blue, she suddenly said "Mummy, nanti Iman jaga Mummy. Mummy janganlah risau. Imna jaga Mummy, Iman jaga Ayah!" I was so shocked to hear that... and tears come into my eyes hearing her pledge to take care of me and her dad.

I wonder what she was thinking at that time that she wanted to reassure me that way. Whatever it is.. I hope when the time comes, she will honour her pledge.

Iman and Mummy

5 little ducks

Iman came home from school one day and started singing 5 little ducks song. Mummy who has never attended any playschool or kindergarten during Mummy's time, didn't know the song at all. Mummy could sense that Iman was quite frustrated that Mummy couldn't help with the song when she got stuck with the wordings. She had a sad expression when she sang the last line of each verse of the song.

So, trying to be a good Mummy, I went searching for the wordings in the internet and found the following wordings. At least now Mummy can sing along with Iman!! Thank God for the internet! After reading the wordings now I understood why Iman was sad singing the last line of the verse... the part where not all the little ducks came back.

Five little ducks
Went out one day
Over the hill and far away
Mother duck said
"Quack, quack, quack, quack."
But only four little ducks came back.

Four little ducks
Went out one day
Over the hill and far away
Mother duck said
"Quack, quack, quack, quack."
But only three little ducks came back.

Three little ducks
Went out one day
Over the hill and far away
Mother duck said
"Quack, quack, quack, quack."
But only two little ducks came back.

Two little ducks
Went out one day
Over the hill and far away
Mother duck said
"Quack, quack, quack, quack."
But only one little duck came back.

One little duck
Went out one day
Over the hill and far away
Mother duck said
"Quack, quack, quack, quack."
But none of the five little ducks came back.

Sad mother duck
Went out one day
Over the hill and far away
The sad mother duck said
"Quack, quack, quack."
And all of the five little ducks came back.

Charming II

Here's the slideshow of Iman riding her Charming.

Give a Child a Day...

Today on the way to the office, I heard on the radio a Ceramah Ugama. The Ustaz said that when Allah gave a sickness to a child, He was gave it for several reasons:

1. A test to know how much the parents love a child - most parents are willing to take the sickness from the child and take the suffering on themselves, as a prove of their love the the child.
   (Alhamdulillah I have that feelings whenever Iman is sick... I always thought that I was such a self-centred person that I would never be able to love and care for another person more than I love myself. I was scared to get married and to have a family before because I thot I was a self-centred person. But Allah is Great! He showed me that I am not that kind of person!)
   
   
2. An opportunity for the parents to remember Allah and ask for His mercy and blessings to eleviate the suffering from the child.
   
   
3. An opportunity for the parents who have always been busy (when the kids are all well and fine) to spend time with kid when he/she is sick.
   

I thot it is all so true... I would give up going to work anytime when Iman is not well. After hearing the Ustaz, I realised that all the while when Iman fall sick, Allah is giving me the opportunity to take time off from everything else so that I can spend it with her and take the time to remember and start "talking" to Allah again.

We, human always need to be reminded... Alhamdulillah Allah still decide to remind us... I'm praying that Allah will never forget me and will keep on sending me reminders on anything and everything... Ameen.

A beautiful poem ...

~Courtesy of www.islamic-world.net~

I shall try to remember to give Iman at least a day if not everyday....

Words of Wisdom

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child learns to feel shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
Is a child lives with acceptance and frienship,
he learns to find love in the world.

~Courtesy of www.islamic-world.net~

When a child lost her mum

Courtesy of islamic-world.net

When my friend Jie passed away due to breast cancer, she left behind 5 kids, 4 boys between the age of 11 and 4, and a daughter who was Iman's age! At the time she passed away, I think the daughter just turned 1! During the ziarah trip to her mum's house, when I looked at her daughter, I couldn't help but felt so sad for the kid. She was sleeping at the time and she seemed to be peaceful. I wonder whether she missed her mum. Seeing those, I prayed very hard that Allah will grant me a long life so that I can have more time with Iman. Long enough for me to take care of her and long enough for her to get to know me.

At that time, I didn't know which is better for a kid... to lose a mum a young age or to lose a mum at an older age.

Once in a while I would call Cik Yah, (arwah Jie's cousin who was also my classmate in Seri Puteri) to check on the kids. According to Cik Yah, the kids were coping fine especially the youngest girl because she didn't really know her mum, arwah Jie, since arwah was sick a few months after she was born. Arwah never really get to hold her much, and she was being cared for by the maid all the time. Somehow not knowing the mum made the little girl could go on living without missing her mum.

A week after Jie's passing, we lost another friend, Ee, (she was with me in Seri Puteri for a while during our Form 1 but moved to SMS Kelantan in the same year without completing Form 1 with us, but we stayed in contact). She passed away due to complications after undergoing several operations. She left a 14-year old son and a 4-year daughter, Farah.

It was so sad to recall how Farah was praying hard for her mum to get well so that her mum can carry her. Arwah Ee was sick for so long that she couldn't carry Farah at all and to Farah's recollection, she never remember being carried by her mum until she saw a photo of her being carried by her mum when she was small! Seeing that she wished and prayed hard that her mum would get well enough to carry her again. Alas... Allah has His plan and He knows best, Farah's wishes and prayers were never answered. She still lost her mum. We got to know about her wishes from Saiful (Farah's dad) when we went to ziarah the day after Ee passed away. It was so sad to know that.

A few days back Saiful told me that Farah was missing her mum. I advised Saiful to explain to Farah about death so that she knows she won't expect her mum to come back. Saiful said he had explained about it and Farah knows it already. But somehow she still missed her mum. According to Saiful she kept on saying that she missed her mum. Tears came to my eyes when I read his message. I went to Iman's cot and started kissing her. Luckily she was sleeping, otherwise she would think that I must have gone crazy!

When Iman asked me to kiss her all over her face everytime before she goes to sleep (since receiving Saiful's message), I had tears in my eyes. I kept thinking of Farah... of how she must be missing that kind of gestures from a mother. I know understand how she must be feeling and I wish I can kiss and hug Farah to help ease the pain of missing her mum. But I don't know whether anybody cake take her mum's place, in her heart or physically. Oh God! I realised that I still don't know which is better for a kid, to lose a mum at young or older age. I guess losing a mum, at any age, for a child will still be sad and devastating...

Now I started to notice how Iman usually reacts when I hug and kiss her. She would hug back and a sad expression would show on her face... I just hope I will be able to continue to hug and kiss her for a long long long time. Ya Allah, please grant me a long healthy life so that I can be around for my daughter. Ameen.

I then realised too that Farah is not able to have the little girl and mummy time like what I have with Iman now. Iman would come into the room after she's done playing with Ayah and wanted to have time with Mummy. We would just sit on the bed, either reading story or doing some jigsaw puzzles together or I just talk to her about her day at school. Then I would hug and kiss her before I put her in her cot. Some days the two of us would go out for girls outing either for grocery-shopping or to join my friends for hi-tea. I guess Farah doesn't have all that now and it saddened me to realise that...

A Best Friend or A mum

I saw on Oprah one day about the a kid who is 9 years old and she has been ruling and controlling the house and her parents since she was 3! During the discussion one very scary issue was raised. The mother wanted to be the girl's best friend, so the mother didn't want to be a disciplinarian! The advisor that day - the Rabbi from the show "Shalom in the House", said that a mum has to be a mum, not a best friend! The girl will have one of her friends as her best friends.

I got scared when I heard that. I have always wanted to be Iman's best friend eversince she was born. Now I realised that I must be a mum... maybe a disciplinarian most of the time but only as a friend when she's older and needs someone to share her secrets and her thoughts. Oh Gosh?! Parenting is tough! We just don't know that we could actually ruin a child's life with our small mistake like wanting to be a best friend! As a parent we are responsible to mold the kid to be a good human being morally and spiritually. Now I know why it took me so long before I finally got the gut to be a mum! Motherhood definitely comes with very big and heavy responsibilities. I just hope I'm doing a good job at that.

Growing up in a household where my mum was always a mum and never a friend, I thought I want to have a more close relationship with Iman when I finally have my own child. I guess I can still have a close relationship as a mum and daughter and not necessarily as a friend. Iman has to know her boundary of respect she needs to give me as a mum, but at the same time I hope she knows that can always come and talk to me on anything and everything. It's definitely not something I get from my mum... Well, I grew up in a very Malay environment where it is a culture to tell your mum everything and anything. So, I can't really blame my mum on this. I guess being educated overseas and with the current environment we live in, I just want Iman to grow up to know that I've always there for her. I want her to know all the time that I love her, even when I scolded her for doing something bad.

Iman, I hope when you are older you understand why most of the time I tend to be strict with you... I want you to grow up to be a good person, a caring person and a responsible person who know how to respect everybody accordingly.

Charming

We went to IKEA last weekend just to kill time. Mummy thought of buying for Iman another Froggy as a back-up in case we need to wash both of your current Froggies but Iman was more interested in a horse!

She took it and started to ride on the horse (the horse looks like the horse in Shrek 3 that Charming was riding as an actor!). She was really into it that Mummy had no heart to say no to her. Ayah said that if Mummy says ok then Iman can have it! Mummy really don't know how to say no to Iman... so we bought it!

Iman calls the horse "Charming"! She rides the horse everyday after school. We bought a brush in IKEA for Ayah to brush the toilet walls but Iman has declared that the brush is the horse's brush! So, there goes the brush for Ayah's toilet. Looks like Ayah has to find a different brush, then?! In between the riding the horse, Iman would brush the horse too.. It was so funny to see that. I wonder where Iman gets that idea that the horse needs to be brushed?! Ayah said we now need a stable for Charming! Currently "he" is being parked in the Iman's toy box.

It was so funny to see her saying goodbye to Charming everyday before she goes to school.

Iman's Birthday Celebrations

Iman's 1st Birthday - 27 Dec 2005



Iman's 2nd Birthday - 27 Dec 2006



Iman's 2nd Birthday Celebration @ Jumpstart (Iman's temporary school)



Iman's 2nd Birthday Celebration @ Home - 29 Dec 2006